I don't know about you, but besides being human, I am a feminist. That is how I have always considered myself, especially in recent years. One gets older, sees things clearer, has had more time to experiment, stops doing things because they are a fashion and reflects. So yes, I've never been more sure that I am a feminist.
However, I have never been more sure of the infinite contradictions I have as a human being. I comfort myself thinking that we humans usually have them. Sometimes the person we want to be still doesn't fit the person we are. Other times, it is reality that does not adapt to who we are and we have to adapt to it.
Being a feminist is not easy. What's more, sometimes it can be very complicated. We are reproached, almost as an insult, for our contradictions. If you present yourself as a feminist you cannot make any mistakes, you must always remain virtuous. Nothing to be wrong and, of course, nothing to have contradictions.
The thing is, how are we not going to have them? We are feminists, yes, but we have grown a patriarchal system. And we have not only grown in it, but we still live in one. Our desires, our aspirations, what we want to achieve and what we think is fair, is not always aligned with what reality allows us.
Sometimes they throw us in the face that they don't know what to expect from us. Some people use our contradictions against us as a weapon to discredit us to us and to what we defend. If sometimes life makes you contradict yourself, then what you defend is nonsense and you're not right. At best, they think you do it because you don't know too much about life; at worst, because you are false and a liar. Sorry but no
We are not bad for contradicting ourselves, nor are we pretending, or falsifying. We are not feminists because it is fashionable, nor because it gives us any benefits. We contradict ourselves because we are human and it is difficult to adapt to reality, erase years of education and skip all social and economic norms.
Many of us are aware of this, but we are trying to accept those contradictions, detect them and learn from them and our mistakes to improve. It is difficult, but we are taking steps so that at some point what we want and what we have is the same.
And in that learning there is one more thing that many of us must understand: others also have contradictions And sometimes they are wrong. In our search for reality to finally fit who we want to be, we put the rod to measure others so low that we don't even go through it. To do this, we must all work together in search of a better society, ceasing to use the contradictions of the other to attack and miss it. We are people, more or less successful, and if we make this a war nobody can win it.
I guess, deep down, with all this all I want to say is that it's time to give us a quarter. It is time to accept that others have contradictions, but that we also have them. Maybe it's time to forgive ourselves for not being able to be at all who we want to be and, thus, to be able to forgive others for not living up to what we expect.