Sex and Relationships

I find that my best friend's partner cheats on him: What to do according to experts

It turns out that a study conducted by the IPSOS Institute in Spain, reveals that 35% of men and 26% of women acknowledge having been unfaithful to their partner. It seems that statistics are right to Woody Allen, the king in the creation of unfaithful characters, and he throws us down those stories of eternal love on Sunday afternoon. So it is not so difficult for you to find yourself in the situation: an acquaintance tells you that Fulanita has a parallel relationship with another who is not her boy ... Or yet, you go down the street quietly, you cross a couple of the most passionate and zas, you realize that he is your best friend's boyfriend with an unknown blonde ...

Leaving numbers aside, the big question is: What to do if your best friend is cheated? Do you shut up and live with it forever or do you count it running the risk of breaking a friendship?

According to a study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior by sexologist Justin Lehmiller, the answer depends on many factors (although we could have said that too). According to Lehmiller, the closer the friendship relationship is, the more likely the infidelity will be counted, the type of horns is also relevant, it is not the same as an isolated event (then it makes up for becoming clueless) than something more serious. Whether the couple has children or is about to get married also influences.

In case you decide to tell it you have to go through 3 phases

1. The initial investigation

We have consulted the psychologist Erika Gómez and the first point is more than clear:

"Before talking with your friend you have to be certain that infidelity is real."

Sometimes things are not what they seem, it is not the same to see two people kissing (there is no room for doubt) that making some kind of affection like caresses.

In this situations there is no room for rumors. That is not worth "my cousin's sister-in-law's cousin told me that ...". In case of not being 100% true you can end a great friendship and cause a very uncomfortable situation for all parties. It is best that you get some proof, such as a photo, that proves that what you say is totally true.

An alternative, if you have enough confidence with the infidel in question, is tell you that you know it and that you expect a confession on your part. When he admits his mistake (if he does), he may be forgiven or not, but that is already a matter of bedroom.

2. The conversation

Being a very complicated subject, Choose an intimate place like your home to speak it. At times like this, a couple of bottles of wine may be more than essential.

Before dropping the bomb, ask your friend how everything is going in their relationship. You can too drop some clue to see if that makes him suspicious of recent work trips, weekly reeds with colleagues or a mobile phone that has been shutting down lately.

3. The reaction

Once you have told it, two things can happen: that your friend shows you his gratitude or that he turns against you because he has blind confidence in his partner. There are also cases in which it is preferred to consent before the relationship ends or they may have an open relationship but I had not told you.

Laura, 32 years old. It is a very complicated issue. We decided to tell our friend the infidelity of her boyfriend when we were sure that it was true and also something very repeat. Our surprise was that she took it fatal, labeled us liars and is still with him today.

And if it turns out that it is your best friend who is unfaithful? That well deserves another article. Coming Soon…

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